BOBBY BOTTLESERVICE! In case you are unfamiliar with the show he is auditioning for (which coincidentally has become possibly my all-time favorite television show ever based solely on one episode) here is a clip from Jersey Shore as well:
Here are some of the best quotes thus far via Defamer:
Sammy: “I’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet, but don’t fuck with me.”
Ronnie: “Take your shirt and [the women] come to you like flies on shit.”
DJ Paulie D: “I don’t want to work, I’m a DJ.”
Trash Bags: “How is this girl getting in the jacuzzi in a bra. Wear a thong bikini if you’re going to wear anything. It’s more classier.”
Sammy: “I had so much respect for you guys until you got into the Jacuzzi with those sluts.”
Blue Balls: “That’s how we know we’re classy girls because we’ve been here two days with those guys and nothing has happened.”
The Situation: “This situation is unbelievable. You can’t even believe the situation you’re about to get in the situation.”
Trash Bags: “I’m a bartender, I do like, you know, great things.”
Snickerdoodle: “I’m the fucking princess of fucking Poughkeepse.”
The Situation: “Everybody loves me: babies, dogs, hot girls, cougars.”
Vinny: “I don’t care if you’re fat, ugly, 45 years old—I’ll dance with you.”
DJ Paulie Dude: “She wants to have fun and have a boyfriend. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. I’ll play that game. I’ll be that guy. I don’t care.”
Blue Balls: “If a girl’s a slut, she should be abused.”
Trash Bags: “I’ll cut your hair while you’re sleeping.”
